haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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