i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize