Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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