I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
