the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
