i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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