i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
