the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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