Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
