I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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