Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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