I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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