I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
