this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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