people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
