so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
