i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
