Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
