Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
