So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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