Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
