We won't sleep together?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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