There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
