May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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