What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
