i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
