I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
