afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
