the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
