Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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