We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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