If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
