Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
