come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
