dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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