I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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