Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize