we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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