I wanna bring you to show and tell
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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