hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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