careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize