the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
