But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
