You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
