She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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