Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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