i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
