dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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