so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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