the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize