Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
