Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize